i got to talk to my best friend last night for a whole hour. she and her husband just bought a house. how jealous am i? i am so thrilled for them! i even get a room there whenever i choose to visit and/or move back to albuquerque :)
we got to talking about how things used to be. you know, those awkward ages where nothing seems to work and your hair is growing, your period comes, and everything sucks. we had such a good laugh talking about all of the silly things we used to do. "you stole so and so from me" "your ass was so big" "i can't believe you were more popular than me" are some of those memorable quotes from our kick ass conversation.
i started thinking, why don't we laugh more? i have been in this negativity rut for some time now. normally, i can laugh things off. but for awhile i got so caught up in everything that was going on, i forgot to laugh. it felt so, so, so, so, so, great to laugh last night. we talked until 1 AM and i felt like were 13 again, giggling before bedtime, her mom telling us to be quiet from upstairs. it was so silly and simple, yet it put me back right where i belong.
in the midst of my finals, school finally coming to a close, and all the stress that seems to be piling up as high as an elephant in this brain of mine, i can't believe i lost sight of laughter.
i've been searching for the feeling that i had in china, and have found, quite frankly, that here, is unattainable. that feeling of contentment, no fear, no stress, absolutely nothing holding me back and saying, "what the hell, i'm in china once!" those late nights out, those early morning wake up calls, i was totally cool with it. . .when we were in china. i'm sure i got irritated and crabby (my choirmates will probably be happy to tell you about those times) but i'm pretty sure that it lasted merely 20 minutes at the most.
how do i find that here? by making those 1 AM phone calls, being crazy tired at work the next day because i was having a really great conversation, and saying, "what the hell, i only live once". those are the things that make my life. those are the things that keep me going. no matter how tired i am, no matter how irritated i am, there is always that attainable laughter. it's nice to know it's just a phone call away :)
amanda, i love you more than words can say. you are my best friend and i cherish you. thank you for setting me straight and getting me back to where i need to be. guess this means i need to think about moving back to albuquerque. . .
fight the good fight,
+kaia
Kaia my dear, that was the sweetest post or anything I've possibly ever read. I thought I was just a looney bin for feeling as if that conversation was a life changing call, but I guess we'll go cookey together :)I couldn't believe how late we were up, but how needed it was. I too have lost the laughter, it's sad. And it was ridiculously amazing to see what you and your laughter does for my soul! I felt like a different person when we hung up. Thank you for reminding me what it feels like to just laugh it up like an awkward 13 year old. I love you too much, there isn't a better friend out there. Albuquerque will always welcome you- and so will the 1 am phone calls. God really put a gem on this earth.
ReplyDeletemy first comment! :) i've never had one before! i'm so excited!!! thank you for reading. i LOVE you so much. don't forget it, either!
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