today.

The summer days are gone too soon
You shoot the moon
And miss completely
And now you're left to face the gloom
The empty room that once smelled sweetly
Of all the flowers you plucked if only
You knew the reason
Why you had to each be lonely
Was it just the season?

Now the fall is here again
You cant begin to give in
It's all over

When the snows come rolling though
You're rolling too with some new lover
Will you think of times you've told me
That you knew the reason
Why we had to each be lonely
It was just the season

so it's dawning on me.  although it's hotter than seven hells, summer is coming to a close.  where does the time go?  every year that i get older, the year seems to go by faster.  pretty soon i'll blink and it will be christmas.  what is happening to my life?  i'm living in fast forward.

i've been trying my darndest to really enjoy this summer and really figure somethings out throughout it all.  i always look back think that i could have done more, said more, changed more.  i'm at that point right now.  what else could i have done to morph into that person that i pictured at the beginning of the summer?

for one thing, i'd be a hell of a lot skinnier (would have started running), i'd have made a lot more changes to my spending habits, and i might have gone on more vacations, slept a little more, been out in the sun a whole heck of a lot more, and probably drank better beer.  but alas, the season is ending.  i only have 2 and a half weeks left to do everything i planned.  don't think i'm going to shed that extra 25,000 pounds i've been carrying around, nor do i think i'll get much sleep in the next 2 weeks.  

however, i'm so excited about the reality that school is starting.  my last fall at augsburg--gah, when did this happen?  it will be a year of lasts for me.  so strange!  but it will be a new beginning as well.  instead of looking at it as the end of something, i'd rather think of it as a new beginning.  a new beginning in which i'm able to really grow and flourish.  i don't want to look back on this year and think "shit, i should've done that . . ."  so there are going to be nights that turn into mornings, times when i probably pee my pants, and times when i sit outside to just take it all in and make a memory with.  

if we aren't careful, we can blink and life will pass us by.  if we aren't careful we'll wake up one day wondering where we are and what happened.  appreciating the little things in life is such a task, but is one of the most important things that we can do.  appreciating the small victories, laughing at the things that make us angry, and choosing to have a positive attitude over negative one is so vital to keeping your head above water and figuring things out the way that you want to.


i've noticed that when i just sit at my desk at work, i find myself smiling.  and for what?  no reason.  it's nice to get into practice to simply smile no matter what is going around.  the phone rings off the hook, i make 27 mistakes in planning visits, whatever, i'm good!  everything's fine.  i look around, nod my head, and notice how friggin' awesome my life is.




this isn't to say that there aren't those days that i don't struggle.  believe me, read below if you don't.  but, i deserve a hell of a lot more credit than i give myself for.  and so do you!  so why are you holding on to the fact that you screwed up that one time?  i betcha there's somebody in your life who thinks you are kickass.  find out who that person is.  have them be your person.  have that person remind you how great you are and give you credit where credit is due.




this weekend is going to be a good one.  i feel it!  i'm letting my hair down, gonna let loose, and soak up the sun. 




try it for yourself.




fight the good fight,


+kaia